Nobody has a lot of respect for cheaters, and for good reason. To be unfaithful in a relationship is a horrible thing to do, and can hurt a person in so many different ways. Nobody deserves to have their trust destroyed to that extent. It’s dishonest, juvenile, and downright cruel. The act stems from an inability to muster an ounce of self-control.
So I’m sure we all agree that cheating is bad… But what about emotional cheating? Yes, it’s a thing, and it can be just as destructive as the more obvious forms of cheating. Possibly one of the most destructive elements of emotional infidelity is that many people don’t seem to think it falls under the “cheating” category.
Cheating is taking part in any act or practice which should normally be reserved for your significant other. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual, although that’s usually what we think about when we discuss cheating. As a general rule of thumb, if you would feel uncomfortable with your significant other finding out about something you did, you’re probably being unfaithful.
When you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, they take an important place in your life. Your significant other should be the one you vent to when you’re having a bad day. He or she should be the one you rely on for emotional support. Your partner should always be your shoulder to cry on. If you allow anyone else to take one of these roles in your life, you’re on a dangerous path.
Of course it’s okay to have friends. It’s alright to have other people you talk to. It’s not alright, however, to form a deeper connection with them than is appropriate for a platonic friend. If you do feel the need to have deep conversations with someone else, make sure your significant other is aware of it. If you feel the need to hide it from him or her, then it shouldn’t be happening in the first place.
So what constitutes emotional cheating? Here are some examples:
- Complaining about your partner to another person. While it may seem innocent at first, this practice shows that you don’t care enough about your partner to bring a problem up with them. It also gives the person you’re complaining to an opportunity to try to convince you that they’re better for you than your partner is.
- Any conversation you hide from your partner. Again, if you have to hide it, it’s not good. When you hide your social interactions from your partner, you are no longer accountable to them for what you do. It puts you in a dangerous situation, and can lead to serious problems.
- Singling out one of your friends. If you have a friend that you talk to more than your other friends, or more than your significant other, then you are emotionally cheating. If you have someone you would rather vent to than your partner, you are emotionally cheating. If you spend an abnormal amount of time with someone in various social settings, you are emotionally cheating.
Obviously, these aren’t the only examples. It’s extremely important to set expectations with your partner, so you both know what’s okay and what isn’t.
I’ve heard people argue that they just don’t feel like they can talk to their partner about some things. If that’s the case, then why are you with them in the first place? If you don’t connect with someone emotionally, then don’t start a relationship. It’s that simple. If you don’t feel like you can make that kind of commitment, then just don’t.
Relationships are just as much about an emotional connection as a physical one. If you mock the connection you have with your partner by continuing to connect with another person on that level, you can cause a lot more damage than you think. Don’t betray their trust.
If you aren’t sure if something you’re doing is okay, talk to your partner about it. Ask them how they feel. Respect their feelings and make the requisite adjustments. I’m not saying you need to tiptoe around them, but you should make a real effort to help them feel secure in your relationship.
Do you have any thoughts or comments on this issue? If you do, post them in the comments below! Don’t forget to like, share and subscribe!